Tuesday - My Urologist Story

Okay, so my doctor visit today was really fun...NOT!  Oh I just had total avoidance behavior.  I almost didn't go at all.  I'm so bad.  How can I lecture my patients on the importance of compliability if I'm not willing to do it myself?  Because I'm a weeny, that why! LOL

 

Okay so I like call ahead and tell them I didn't get the medication and they are like "come on in and let's do the scope".  Okay so I try a new tactic..."I just started my period (which happened to be true and wasn't that a lovely surprise), is that going to be a problem?"  "No, it won't even be an issue, come on in".  Ugh!   "Um...there is a lot of traffic.  I'm on my way but I hope I'm not late".  "Don't worry.  Drive safe and we'll see you when you get here."  Can they please stop being so accommodating?  Oh Geez!

 

Okay, so I do show up and I'm still trying to talk my way out of this scope thing and the nurse says as she puts a "comforting" hand on my arm, "Don't worry about a thing, I'll numb you up good".  Oh yea!  Geez again!  Okay let's do this thing already!  So the good Doctor comes in and I get my lecture about how she is not going to hold my hand and be my mother and if I don't want to do the "bladder rescue" she is not going to make me, but (and you knew this was coming, right?) "who is going to suffer the most?  Hmmmm?  You are aren't you?"  Oh I just hate it when they are right!!!  "Yes ma'am."  Do I need to go stand in the corner now?

 

So she is lecturing me and right in the middle just puts that scope right up into my bladder without so much as a "how do you do DeLana's bladder I'm the scope" and we're in there and going all twisting looking around.  I'm like "Hellooooo?  Did you like just warn me or anything here?"  Cramping, holding my breath, biting my tongue, holding my breath again, and whew! we are done.  Or so I thought.  Here goes another catheter and puts lidocaine into my bladder "so as to help with some mild cramping and irritation you might experience today."  Oh thanks, cause we are so done.

 

But I'm thinking, "wow, that wasn't really all that bad.  I mean I've had worse things hurt worse (and we won't go there and you're thinking thank goodness I can tell), so what was I so afraid of?  Not much I'm thinking you big sissy.  Okay, so I'm all brave and everything and went and took my prescription to the apothecary and got it filled.  I'm going to pick it up one dose at a time so as to not have any of them spoil ($56 is going to be my copay for each dose...wow!).  But I get home and I'm thinking, "Ummm, little crampy here, take some Tylenol."  Forget little crampy...lotta crampy, bent over walking going on here.  Lay in bed with heating pad.  Dream of stronger medicine than that stupid 'old Tylenol I just took.  Who invented that whimpy old medicine anyhows.  Ohhhhhhhh.  Pretend my bladder doesn't exist anymore.  To heck with that, I've never been good at imagery.  Ohhhhhhh.

 

Fast forward (thank goodness I hear you say again) and I've been awake since 3:30pm yesterday afternoon (are we seeing a trend here lately).  I think I'm finally feeling like I can go to sleep.  Hey, up side, I get to go for my "bladder rescue" Thursday morning bright and early!  I can hardly wait...NOT!

 

I hope you guys are seeing the humor in all this, because I am...now. ;)

 

DE

 

Oh yeah...unofficial results "inflamation of your bladder lining...so you really need those bladder rescues".  Okay, okay already!

 

Tags: urologist