Thursday - And I'm Still Fat

Well, as you can guess by my title, I'm still fat, ugh.  I got off track again.  So I said I would start over (again) when I got back from my vacation to Texas.  And I have.  So I will be updating and trying to be accountable for what I'm doing.  Who knows, maybe this time will be the time I stick with it.

Just dropped Caleb off with David a night early, and that makes me sad.  But I got a call from work today saying that the Director of Nursing wants to meet with all the ER charge nurses in the morning at 0730.  I could have woken Caleb up and drug him with me at the crack of dawn, but instead I thought it would be easier on all involved if I did it this way.  I wouldn't even go to the meeting if it wasn't with the DON or the fact that we will be discussing the newest ER Nursing Director and hopefully getting him out of there.  OMG, I know I haven't even broached this subject but this guy is a complete idiot and has absolutely no idea what he is doing.  Was an EMT for fifteen years and a nurse for two years.  You tell me what part of that equation qualifies you to run a department?  Maybe in some cases the person could step and do a good job, but he is destroying the department from the inside out and we've had no less than five people quit in the month he's been in the position and two more are out the door.  We've been in complete internal disaster and he refused to let us go on diversion.  We also worked critically short and he refused to let us get agency or come in himself stating instead "keep up the good work". The man has no clue and I hope this meeting has him out the door.

Well, here's crossing my fingers.  And with that I think I'll say...

Ciao!  De ;)

 

Starting weight: 125.2   Today: 124.0   Exercise: Malibu Pilates-33 minutes

Tags: Dieting again

Tuesday - And Oh that's the life I tell ya...

Well it's Tuesday...my first without a meeting in 6 months and what am I doing?  Not a darn thing!  Well, earlier I did run some errands and go to Wal-Mart (cause they have everything), cooked dinner, but mainly I'm hanging out with my boy.  I always stressed to the women in my group to save Tuesdays for themselves and do something fun.  Well, hanging out with the kiddos may not seem like "fun" to some, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate the capability of being able to do just that and not be locked up somewhere, considering I'm such a dangerous slipper-welding criminal, lol.

But onto another light note, I was sitting eating dinner with Caleb when he starting commenting on this Disney movie he was watching and said, "She has a limo and a butler Mom.  Can you imagine?  Oh that's the life I tell ya!"  So I said, "Well you can have both if you work really hard when you get older ya know."  "Really?  Well I'm going to work as a cashier at Wal-Mart then!"  Oh geez, well I think he is going to have work a little bit harder than that, but I'm not going to bust his bubble because it's my first Tuesday without a meeting and all is well!

On that note...

Ciao!  De ;)

Tags: The Simple Life

Monday - And I'm Melancholy

Well I should've worked tonight because I'm sitting here alone in my apartment (Caleb is at David's and Hannah is on a church youth camp in FL) and feeling melancholy.  I'm listening to John Meyer for the first time (and hey he is darn good!) and just basically feeling a little anxious.  I talked to David tonight and he asked me if I wanted a divorce.  I said "I'm not ever getting back together with you".  You'd think he wouldn't have to ask, I mean it has almost been 9 months since the big event and I have said it to him multiple times and he doesn't seem to get it.  But tonight maybe he did.  Who knows.  I just want to peacefully get on with my life, no more drama.  Meanwhile, I'll just keep plugging along.

One of the things discussed between David and I is moving to Albequerque.  We had been talking about this before the big breakup, and I still want to move there.  Several of my friends don't want me to, but it would be closer to family and still in the type of climate I like, albeit much cooler than Phoenix.  My family/friends have expressed a concern over being out there on my own w/o resources that I have here (like a support system), but I can't live my life in fear of "what-ifs", KWIM?  Only a 7hr drive to OKC where Hannah is half the time, and 10hr drive to Dallas where family is.  Course cheaper and faster to fly as well as a lower cost of living.  Lots of benefits.  We'll see.

So an update on Hannah....she brushed her teeth again on Saturday, sigh.  Kathryn said "well at least she isn't kissing Em (BFF)."  I had to laugh at that one, because really, I don't want her kissing anyone, lol.  My friend, Jeanna, said, "next thing you know it'll be a trip to the birth control clinic".  Oh HELL NO!  I definitely need some therapy now!

Well on that note, I think I'll sign off and catch up on some journals.

Ciao!  De ;)

PS:  I just got an email...and he doesn't get it.

 

Your Ex is Dependent

Your ex is dependent on others from almost everything - and has trouble accepting responsibility. Your ex is not able to be independent and fears being alone. People with dependent personality disorder feel helpless when a relationship ends and need constant reassurance. Sound at all familiar?

What's Wrong With Your Ex?

 

Tags: Say Anything

Saturday - And Prince Caspian is Hot

  Well I finally made it to see the newest Narnia movie, Prince Caspian.  Caleb took me to see it, and the movie was really good, better than even the trailers portray, and I've got to say that the actor, Ben Barnes, who plays Prince Caspian is so hot, lol.  I don't know if you ever glance at my sidebar, but it appears I have a thing for dark and handsome.  All that aside, I can't wait until the next sequel comes out, next May I think.  If you haven't seen the movie, you should indulge.  Worth every penny!

So the other night I was talking to Hannah because she was going over to her friend-boy's house to go swimming and I said "You should brush your teeth before you go", and Hannah said "what?  I always brush my teeth".  I'm like "no you don't, and you never know when you  need to have fresh breath."  That just got her laughing.  Well the next day Hannah said "Em (her BFF who was over with her friend-boy) brushed her teeth last night".  I said "nooooo!  And did you?"  And Hannah said "...yes".  OMG!  So I go "Just don't floss!", which of course sent her into giggles.  I'm so gonna need therapy!!!

Ciao!  De ;)

Tags: Prince Caspian, Kissing

Tuesday - And I've Perservered

 

It's easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top. ~ Arnold Bennett

 

 Well...it's done.  I'm finished.

As you all know, David and I are separated, but what you don't know is why.  I haven't really said anything except to my closet friends and family because I was ashamed of what happened, but now I'm done and I feel like I can discuss the events that transpired.

David and I had not been getting a long for quite a while and were having a weekend long fight and he had been keeping me up and not letting me sleep except for 10-15minute snatches.  I finally reached a breaking point after 48hours and on October 29th 2007 struck out, hitting David.  I am not going to say that what I did was right, but I do think that what David did next was very wrong given the fact he was not injured and all I used was my slipper...he called the police (to show me how I've been treating him for 2 1/2 years he said).  And, with the laws the way they are, and the fact that he fabricated a lot, I got arrested.

Yes, you read it right, I got arrested and spent 18hours in jail.  18hours of pure hell for anyone, and especially hard for me since I'm claustrophobic.  I did have panic attacks and I cried endlessly and didn't sleep even more.  I thank God for the sympathetic female police officer who gave me $20 for a cab home after getting out.  I thank God for my family and friends who have defended me and stuck by me all the way.  But most of all, I thank God for being arrested and getting me out of an abusive marriage.

Now what am I done with?  I plead guilty to domestic violence and as my "diversion" sentence I had to attend 26 weeks of domestic violence counseling and tonight was #26.  Now the arrest will be expunged from "my record". So I'm done!  I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can now move forward with my life, and I can't wait!

And so today I wish each and everyone of you the best in life, and I wish you perseverance with whatever obstacles and tribulations you may face.  But most of all, I wish for God to bless you endlessly.

Ciao!  De ;)

Tags: Perserverance